At some point, I was rather intoxicated and let him know that I thought he was very cute. And that turned into a weird summer of hardcore sexting. I remember one night where we were in a group chat, me and him and a couple other people got really into this discussion about environmental racism. So in one chat, we were talking about inequalities within urban areas. In another app, we were sending frisky pictures. He and I were talking a lot, so a few weeks before school started, I just got to Chicago because I was doing a POP [pre-orientation program]. He was doing one too and was like, “Shit, you wanna go out for coffee sometime? I feel like we’d actually really vibe. You’re cool.” And I was like, “Definitely.”

Then I left for PWild, got back and got sucked up into all the Wildcat Welcome bullshit, and didn’t see him. I was just so busy. Then one night I walk into my common room, and he was there hanging out with some people. We said hi and progressively realized after just seeing each other around that we were just totally not involved in the same social scene whatsoever. I very much considered myself anti-frat, not a North Campus person to say the least. And he’s very much a North Campus person in the social scene, going to frat parties, hanging out with the athletes. We just have totally different vibes even though we have similar interests.

Now it’s super awkward because we never actually hung out. We don’t talk anymore, and I just see him around all the time because we eat in the same dining hall. It’s really weird, and we never know whether to say hi to each other or not. Sometimes we do and sometimes we ignore each other completely. Low-key though, I’d still smash, which is the worst part. ‘Cause again, boy is really, really attractive.”


I went to an AEPi off-campus party with one of my really good friends. I ended up making out with a girl. It was fun. It seemed like a thing and I got her number. I texted her, and just radio silence ever since.

Then I heard she got a kidney stone. But you know, we were all like, wait what’s going on? I asked the same friend I went to the party with that Monday what happened. He said, “I think that girl you hooked up with is sick.” I was like, “Oh really? Tell me what happened. I hope she’s okay. Is this something I should care about?” Then he told me it was a kidney stone, and that’s just funny ‘cause my house was built on kidney stones – I mean my dad’s a urologist.”


I partially discovered my sexuality on PWild and was helped in this discovery by another gay man whom we will term Joseph. Joseph and I became pretty great friends during PWild. One night we’re all going out to a party, and Joseph had been hooking up with a fellow named Ralph. We were on the way to the party, and I started doing the Wildcat Welcome dance, like spoons not forks, the whole jive. He definitely was very interested in watching me do the Wildcat Welcome dance. Of course he did the dance with me, and there was this building sexual tension around it.

Ralph starts making out with Joseph and immediately apologizes for it, which was weird because I was not even looking at this guy in a sexual context. I’d only kissed one guy in my whole entire life. So he’s apologizing to me, and I’m like what the fuck, maybe I’m interested.

Eventually I just looked at everyone and said, “Can someone take me to the restroom?” As expected, Ralph was like, “Over here, I’ll take you.” We were at Lambda and tried to find a bathroom upstairs. We couldn’t find one. We were kind of pinned against each other in this very dark stairwell, and I asked him what he wanted, and he told me he didn’t necessarily want Joseph. And I said, “Well, what do you want right now?” We violently made out in the stairwell. I ended up on the oor. I decided it would probably look suspicious to Joseph, so I left and told him to stay in the stairwell. The night went on, and Ralph told me before I walked away that he wanted to see me again.

The next night, we all went out for Wildcat Welcome, and I found out that Joseph had found out about me and Ralph. It manifested in this horrible bickering night of screaming and yelling, and everyone was crying. Then Ralph and Joseph went back downstairs to the party and just started making out and crying and arguing and making out. I was very upset so I went home.

So that was the one that got away.

More specifically, that is the asshole that got away.”