On December 14, 2009, someone opened an email from Northwestern University, skimmed through their acceptance letter, rushed onto Facebook and created a new group titled “Northwestern University Class of 2014.”
“POST IF YOU'VE BEEN ACCEPTED AND YOUR MAJOR.” That was the first post. It took a 19 minute 38 second scroll down the page to figure this out. I whizzed by a four-year digital history, by sublet beggars, philanthropists, trollers, event promoters, a pug next to a bowl of chicken tenders and people trying to sell Ohio State football tickets.
I passed through our social media-ized college experience to see where we started, back when we were buying prom corsages and teepeeing our friends’ houses.
We had a lot of questions back then. It was an uncertain time before we arrived on campus, before we knew that Sargent Dining Hall has the best cereal but Hinman has the best grilled cheese. Before we knew that Frances Searle houses the highest quality water fountain on campus, and before we knew Burgie’s typographical prowess.
Four years later, we know a lot more. So let’s take a dive into the depths of our darkest secondary school uncertainties. There’s no place better to start than the first question on the group. (Names omitted to protect our younger selves. Grammar and punctuation left to embarrass our younger selves.)
December 15, 2009 What’s good?! Well frankly, a lot of things are good. Edzo’s old fries. When a professor cancels a class the night before. Crepe Bistro at Norris. (R.I.P.) There are four years of good that I could articulate here. Instead, I will just leave you with the satisfactory response in the comments below the post. “Not much hbu?!.”
March 23, 2010 I got rejected L So goodbye group. It was fun while it lasted, lol. Not technically a question but we give you points for the pseudo-haiku formatting. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to know you. We never got to laugh out loud together or share the incredible array of new emojis that blossomed onto our gadgets since you posted this. We hope you enjoyed your time at some other school – and felt more included in their respective Facebook group.
April 9, 2010 Brief Spam Intermission LOOKING FOR HIGH QUALITY ESSAYS OR PAPERS OF ANY KIND? Get A+ quality papers like Term Papers, College Essays or Papers, Business Essays or Papers, and many more for as low as $9/page. Visit us now at: CUSTOMESSAYPLUS.COM Ahh, the amount of times this would have come in handy. For $90 bucks I could have passed Philosophy of Language without all the blood, sweat and tears I shed.
April 10, 2010 Does FUP stand for Freshman Urban Program? Well that depends on the context. It could be the Fair Use Project, Fondation d’utilités publique – a nonprofit in Belgium, a novel by Jim Dodge, or an especially foul term coined by someone over at Urban Dictionary (I will let you Google it). In this context, yes, I do believe you are looking for Freshman Urban Program and not “the book you want to read to the person you think might fall in love with you,” according to an Amazon reviewer commenting on Dodge’s novel.
April 12, 2010 Are there any quizes I can take to find a compatible roomate for next year, like a link or something? Yes. Here you go. -Will you be doing laundry, at all? -Hypothetically, what would happen if I were to stumble in late one night and accidentally urinate in your laundry hamper? -Where the hell did you put my shower sandals? -Will you be breaking up with your high school girlfriend/boyfriend over Skype before or after Thanksgiving? -BK?
April 30, 2010 do student groups get funding from the university - generally how much? also, is it common for freshman to run for office in a group that they really are/wanna be involved in? We love your initiative. We also love your optimism and go-get-‘em attitude. You definitely won’t sign up for too many listserv emails at the activities fair.
May 5, 2010 how do we pick housing and whatnot? i’m kinda lost on all this:( Allison.
May 7, 2010 pwild pwild pwild pwild pwild! Sounds about right. You will fit right in with them.
May 8, 2010 A quick question, has anyone got any dorm infos from the school yet? Just curious about what dorms are better, etc. Allison.
May 17, 2010 Do we have to buy football and other tickets, or do we get in wtih our student ID’s? You will get in for free with your student ID. But the sheer heart-wrenching pain of watching the Wildcats lose in the fourth quarter to Ohio State four years later will cost you.
May 20, 2010 Shepard,Sargent or Bobb? Allison
May 22, 2010 Oh my gosh, NU has trimesters?! haha You laugh now. You laugh as you adorably refer to our heartless schedule as “trimesters.” You laugh until your first midterm comes before the professor finishes going over the syllabus. You laugh until the next one is right after the professor finishes going over the syllabus. You will laugh right up until the moment you realize that the Northwestern quarter system might just rip out your frontal lobe, chew it faster than an Elder freshman munching on hot cookie bar and then spit it back out the other side so it can do it two more times before the year is done. haha
May 24, 2010 hey i was just about to get a bag, and i’ve always used messenger bags, but they aren’t so big… do you guys think a bigger messenger bag is sufficient or what would be abetter option? A better option would probably be to take a long hard look at your grammar and punctuation.
June 2, 2010 hey, totally random question… anyone know about longboarding at NW? do most people get around campus on bikes or walking, or are there any people that longboard? I’m debating getting one over the summer but it’ll be a waste if I can’t take it to school, so anyone feel free to fill me in Let’s start with the fact that you referenced Northwestern using “NW,” a side effect of watching ESPN’s (Medill-effed) broadcasts too many times. Let’s move on to the fact that a longboard is perfectly suitable as a form of transportation for approximately three weeks out of the year. For the rest of the time, I would recommend a marine-grade parka, an ice axe and a hearty resolve.
June 12, 2010 When is our first tuition payement due? I am sure you figured out when the first payment was due, but with student loan interest rates on the rise and the five-figure yearly cost of attending this venerable institution, the last one might not come for decades. But it’s not the time for you to dwell on that. Now is the time for you to make that first tuition payment. Then to make that first stroll down Foster looking for that first college party. Then to take that first trip to Fran’s Café after midnight. Then to take that first trek through Tech, late for that first lecture in the bowels of the building.
It’s time to eat your first hot cookie bar and find your first true college friend – the one sitting alone in the corner of Hinman who looks approachable because he’s also wearing his lanyard around his neck and looks like he hasn’t met too many people yet.
It’s time to sip your first Natty Ice next to a basement wall slick with condensation. It’s time to take your first all-nighter, not because of classes, but because your friends convinced you to procrastinate through a group project and take a walk with them on the Lakeville (and yes, you thought it was called the Lakeville on that first late-night walk – I sure did… for my entire freshman year), the whole time thinking how much you love this place and not worrying too much because you still have a lot of time left to enjoy it.
You are about to have many firsts.
Kit served as Print Senior Editor and Assistant Sports Editor for North By Northwestern.