Don’t let anyone tell you romance is dead. Romance floats in the air – a flurry of messages spanning time and physical space. Romance flits at the edge of our iPhone keyboards, nestled right under that “Z,” right next to that “123.” Romance is that grey smiling dude on said keyboard, who promises universal love language, even to Android phones. This Valentine’s Day, celebrate the right way – sans words. Reboot your booty calls. Stick a lil 🍆 in your 🍑 (if you go that way). Charm the pants off your sexual partner(s) with just the perfectly placed emoji. After all, if an image speaks 1,000 words, a pictograph speaks 1,001. 😎
The pointed finger is a versatile emoji when it comes to your and your partner’s sexual needs. It can refer to several sexual acts, the most obvious one being consensual intercourse. During coitus, there is truly no better use for one’s finger than asking for consent. As communicated during Wildcat Welcome to new Northwestern students, the best way to ask for consent is to hover one’s pointer finger in close proximity to your potential partner’s body and recite the words, “Can I touch you?” However, for the sake of convenience, this emoji, followed by a question mark is the perfect text to place both you and your partner on the same page. Other uses include, but are not limited to, requesting a moment to consider a sexual proposition and gesturing to the heavens to indicate level of sexual pleasure.
Biking over, c u in 3 min. You’ll be after this ;)
The art of flirting lies in coyness. While the winky-face and heart-eyes emoji are best fit for late night booty calls or a new relationship, you need to hold the allure and mystery with new PB’s (potential baes). Whether it’s your lab partner or the hottie from SPAC, hit ‘em with this emoji when you’re ending the conversation, or pair it with a flirty joke. A kiss seals the deal.
how's your day going? seems like its missing something
what's it missing?
This one is for all the ladies out there ready to get some pleasure because yes, girls also like to have sex, and yes, we enjoy it very much. But for many girls, it can be hard to hint at some tongue action in the nether regions. How do I tell my Tinder date I want him to lay me down and make waterfalls pour out of me? It’s simple: send him this combo of emoji and let him know that one, you are a woman ready to have her needs met because guys shouldn’t be the only ones feeling high off of sex. Two, that tongue better do its workouts because it’ll need to do some good maneuvering to hit the right spot. And three, we expect to cum. If you don’t make us cum, why should we help you cum? Ladies, be confident, be safe, and let them know what you really want.
Do you want to come over my place for a bit before dinner tonight?
Why? You want to pregame?
I don’t mind having something sweet before dinner
The thermometer emoji is a fundamental part of all romantic texting. In general, it means “Things are heating up,” but this could be interpreted in a variety of ways. It could mean that your relationship is heating up, and maybe it’s time to talk getting serious. But it can also be used in the context of that specific conversation, signifying things are getting hot and heavy. Maybe your vocabulary is starting to get a bit steamy and you’re ready to take this convo to the next level. Who knows what the thermometer could have in store for you?
I was thinking maybe we could grab dinner tonight
Is this getting serious?
If you think the eggplant is too cliché and you find the tongue-out winking face vulgar, it’s time to turn to the thinking man’s emoji: The floating grey head. Versatile, yet pointed. Subtle, yet sensual. When you want to ask your partner to head downstairs without coming off as a complete pig, this disembodied noggin is here to do the talking for you. The exclamation lines coming from its gaping maw can be interpreted as moans of pleasure or that last deep breath you take before getting down to business, depending on what you’re into.
Hey lady, how's about me and you grab some drinks tonight and then maybe take it back to my place for some ?
Who is this?
This week I just received an email from my Australian host family “father” when I visited the country seven years ago. He meant to check-in on my love life because, well, Valentine’s Day is coming. My “father” finished off with words of wisdom based on his 88 years of life experience: boys and men think with their eyes. Thanks, dad. Eyes, as the windows to the soul, can tell so much about the mind. Just look at the wide-open, sideways-staring eyes – as if spotting an attractive creature, as if trying see through some clothing. This look vividly represents the eyes of many people when there’s a hottie walking by. People may remain motionless in an attempt to conceal their thoughts, yet the eye movements have already exposed their intentions in plain sight. Sometimes just by looking at someone’s eyes, you can tell what the person sees, or in fact, what the person wants to see.
want to see that (and spank it!)
love you, let's do it 😉
When it comes to using emoji in a sexual context, everyone knows the eggplant is the go-to phallic emoji. But what about your go-to vaginal emoji? So sexist, am I right? Never fear, I’m here to help you with a list of vagina emojis: the cat faces. This totally makes sense, because they’re pussies. Like what else would you use? The new taco emoji? Yeah, I don’t think so.
😿 when you’re sad because you’re on your period
😹 when you’re wet
😼 when you’re about to get laid
😽 WHEN YOU GET GOOD HEAD
😻 when your vagina is in love with someone (this does not necessarily have to correlate to your brain’s emotions about said person)
🙀 when the dick is just too big
come over baby let me make you
ugh i wish i could 😻 but not tonight sorry
why not thooo there’ll be 😽
ugh because 😿